bausprouse:

Well, since I’ve been flooded with messages in the vain of “Why you do that?” or “You’re not hot no more” or me personal favorite: “What happened to you guys? Jesus doesn’t like Mohawks” I thought I would clear the air for you guys. Going into Cole mode for a sec.

Hair is hair. It grows back. Mine grows back particularly fast. Cole and I have always had odd hairstyles to say the least. This is historically accurate lol. Not only that, but hair is very much an expression of yourself. Keyword expression. I implore everyone to experiment with their hair, as not only is it fun, but it is liberating in many ways to stray away from the social norm.

Someone asked me the other day on the street, “Dylan, why do you wear your hair like that if it is objectively regarded as better looking to women the other way you had it?” I answered such: “To like someone for their physicality is a shallow notion. That’s not to say that it is unnatural, as everyone does it, including myself, though there is a socially defined norm for what is generally deemed attractive on males, and sadly, it is usually directly correlated with a sort of “tameness” or a style most closely associated with popular media. Cole and I know this all too well, as around the time we started the show and a bit after that, every 11-15 year old boy had the Toe head dogtown long hair look we did, even yes, Justin Bieber as well. Much of our perception of “cool” or “hot” is determined by these current trends, as we are social primates are we not?” Suffice to say it did not convince her, but no matter! Your hair should always be for you, rather than them.

Not explicitly an act of rebellion, but instead an act of acknowledgement. Acknowledgment that people will always vilify the pariah. Both Cole and I know this all to well as well. We both have gotten accustomed to the fact that there will always be naysayers, so we do these types of things anyways.

If you encounter people who act on the outside of the bellcurve, chances are they are wayyyyyyy fuckin’ cooler than people who strive to obtain normality. Support, aid, befriend, or talk to these people, as they are also generally the ones who may want it most.

On another note, I decided to get a mohawk, not as a punk phase, but rather because I thought Dwalin’s from the Hobbit movie was so awesome. Definitely modeled after these d00ds : http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/catalog/productDetail.jsp?catId=cat440056a&prodId=prod780895

tl;dr? cut my hair because I like dwarves. If you like dwarves, you should too.

Lust, Like or Love (Pt 6)

Olá muito tempo sem ver!

Waktu berlalu begitu cepat. Hampir 3 bulan sejak gue nulis part 5. Dan selama hampir 3 bulan ini, pikiran gue nggak pernah bisa terlepas dari bayang-bayang Kinky. Kemana pun gue pergi, dimana pun gue berada, di otak gue pasti cuma ada Kinky. Kalo kata Ranti sih, dia itu udah kayak deodorant, selalu setia menghantui gue setiap saat. Padahal, gue udah berusaha untuk berhenti suka sama Kinky. Gue udah berusaha untuk lupain Kinky. Tapi apa daya, gue benar-benar nggak bisa berhenti suka, apalagi lupain dia. Yang ada justru perasaan gue ke dia makin menjadi-jadi.

February 8th, 2013

Hari ini gue ke kampus untuk perwalian. Oke, itu memang bukan alasan utama gue datang ke kampus. Ya, tujuan utama gue adalah untuk bertemu (atau setidaknya hanya melihat) Kinky. Mungkin gue agak (atau…..sangat?) berlebihan. But seriously, gue benar-benar nggak sabar untuk melihat Kinky.

Menakjubkan. Banyak yang berubah. Orang-orang di kampus. Mereka tampil dengan potongan rambutnya yang baru. Tapi ada satu yang nggak berubah, perasaan gue terhadap Kinky nggak akan berubah! HAHA *canda, canda

Gue dan Ranti keluar dari Ruangan SBA ketika gue berpapasan dengan Kinky. Gue tatap mukanya. Tapi dia sama sekali nggak menatap gue, dia nggak lihat gue. Dia hanya berjalan lurus seolah gue ini nggak ada. My bad.

Kesimpulannya, dia masih tetap nggak tau gue. Dia nggak sadar akan keberadaan gue. Atau, bisa jadi sebenarnya dia ini tau gue tapi dia hanya menghindari gue. Who knows?

Singkat cerita, akhir Februari lalu Tio (disuruh Shima) iseng bilang ke Kinky, “ada salam dari (gue)”. HAHA. Shock abis! Gue nggak tau gimana ekspresi serta reaksi dari Kinky, dan gue pun nggak mau tau gimana ekspresi ataupun reaksinya. 

Beberapa hari lalu ketika gue dan Joen sedang berada dalam perjalanan menuju kostannya, tiba-tiba secara nggak sengaja Kinky datang dari arah belakang. Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! >.< Joen, seperti biasa, nyapa Kinky. Dan seperti biasa, mereka pun berbincang sedikit. Awalnya gue cuma diam, mendengar percakapan kecil mereka. Lalu sampai pada akhirnya, Kinky pun basa basi dengan gue. Bukan apa-apa, dia ngajak gue basa basi karena saat itu cuma ada gue dan Joen. Kan kayaknya agak gimana gitu ya kalo Joen diajak berbincang atau apalah itu,  sedangkan gue nggak diajak, kan nggak enak tuh, ntar kesannya dia itu sombong atau gimana gitu. Lanjut! Nah, yang bikin gue kaget, dia sempat nyebut nama gue dengan jelas dan benar. It means, dia tau gue!!! For god’s sake! Akhirnya :”

 

Dan kemarin, waktu gue Shima Tio Ranti Joen sampai di Jemrek, Kinky dan teman-temannya juga ada disana. Gue sempat lihat dia mengisap *you know what*, tapi dia langsung matiin *you know what*nya waktu Tio dkk duduk di dekat dia. Nggak lama, Shima tiba-tiba nge-ceng-in gue, di depan Kinky. Salting parah, sekaligus takut. Bayangkan kalo lo ada di posisi gue saat itu :( Tiba-tiba Kinky pun pergi meninggalkan Jemrek dan nggak kembali. Gue shock. Gue takut. Apa salah gue?  

 

Hari ini pun dia nggak datang ke kelas KWN. Gue makin bingung. Apa dia ngeskip kelas gara-gara menghindari gue? *geer bgt dah* Tapi serius, gue takut. Gue takut dia ngeskip kelas gara-gara nggak mau ngeliat gue, nggak mau ketemu gue, apalagi setelah kejadian kemarin. Gue takut dia ilfeel sama gue. Sumpah, gue nggak mau di-ilfeel-in orang, apalagi sama orang yang gue suka.

Oke, gue akui, mungkin ini memang berlebihan. Sebenarnya, gue berhak untuk suka sama Kinky. Tapi bukan gini caranya. Gue boleh suka, selama masih berada dalam batas yang wajar dan nggak berlebihan. Masalahnya, gue kelewatan. Gue terlanjur terlalu suka sama Kinky. Dan parahnya lagi, gue terlalu mengharapkan sesuatu yang nggak mungkin terjadi. Gue terlalu berharap sama Kinky. Padahal gue tau, Kinky nggak mungkin suka sama gue. Dia (mungkin) nggak suka sama sikap gue, dan dia juga (mungkin) nggak akan suka sama fat-bottomed, plus-sized & big-boned girl macam gue </3 Seribu maaf buat Kinky. Gue nggak pernah bermaksud untuk bersikap kayak gini. Tapi ya…..gimana? Rasa memang nggak bisa bohong. HAHA. I never expected, I never knew I’d fall for someone like you. Sorry :”

Mengutip perkataan Lahendranti tadi pagi, “Lo harus siap dengan kemungkinan terburuk. Lo harus siapin mental”

Kenyataan memang nggak seindah kisah antara Josh & Dylan dalam Geek Charming, ataupun kisah antara Charlie & Aylin. Ya, inilah kenyataan, inilah kisah gue. 

Masih belum tamat…

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